The Awakening
There comes a time in your life when you finally get it...
When in the midst of all our fears and insanity you
stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice
inside your head cries out ~ ENOUGH! Enough fighting
and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child
quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to
subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back
your tears and though a mantle of wet lashes you
begin to look at the world with a new prospective.
This is your awakening.
You realize that it is the time to stop hoping and waiting for
something, or someone, to change or for happiness,
safety and security to come galloping over the next
horizon, You come to terms with the fact that there
aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that
matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after"
must begin with you. Then a sense of serenity is born
of acceptance.
So you begin making your way through the "reality of
today" rather than holding out for the "promise of
tomorrow." You realize that much of who you are, and
the way you navigate through life is, in great part, a
result of all the social conditioning you've received
over the course of a lifetime. And you begin to sift
though all the nonsense you were taught about:
How you should look and how much you should weigh,
what you should wear and where you should shop,
where you should live or what type of car you should drive,
who you should sleep with and how you should behave,
who you should marry and why you should stay,
the importance of bearing children or what you owe
your family.
Slowly you begin to open up to new worlds and
different points of view. And you begin reassessing
and redefining who you are and what you really believe
in. And you begin to discard the doctrines you have
outgrown, or should never have practiced to begin with.
You accept the fact that you are not perfect and that
not everyone will love, appreciate or approve of who or
what you are... and that's okay... they are entitled to their
own views and opinions. And, you come to terms with
the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a "perfect 10"...
Or a perfect human being for that matter.. and you stop
trying to compete with the image inside your head
or agonizing over how you compare. And you make
peace with the woman in the mirror and you learn
to give her the same unconditional love and support
you give so freely to others. Than a sense of
confidence is born of self-approval.
And you stop maneuvering through life merely as a
"consumer" hungry for your next fix, a new dress,
another pair of shoes or looks of approval and
admiration from family, friends or even strangers who
pass by. Then you discover that "it is truly in giving that
we receive(1)"... and that the joy and abundance you
seek grows out of giving. And you recognize the
importance of "creating" and "contributing" rather
than "obtaining" and "accumulating."
And you give thanks for the simple things you've been
blessed with, things that millions of people upon the
earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean
running water, a soft bed, the freedom of choice
and the opportunity to pursue your own dreams.
And you begin to love and to care for yourself. You
stop engaging in self-destructive behaviors including
participating in dysfunctional relationships. You begin
eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and
exercising. And because you've learned that fatigue
drains the spirit and creates doubt and fear you give
yourself permission to rest. And just as food is fuel for
the body, laughter is fuel for the spirit and so you make
it a point to create time to play.
Than you learn about love and relationships, how to
love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and
when to walk away. And you allow only the hands of a
lover who truly loves and respects you to glorify you
with his touch. You learn that people don't always say
what they mean or mean what they say, intentionally or
unintentionally and that not everyone will always come
through and interestingly enough, it's not always about
you. So, you stop lashing out and pointing fingers or
looking to place blame for the things that were done to
you or weren't done for you. And you learn to keep
your Ego in check and to acknowledge and redirect
the destructive emotions it spawns: anger, jealously
and resentment.
You learn how to say I was wrong and to forgive
people for their own human frailties. You learn to build
bridges instead of walls and about the healing power
of love as it is expressed through a kind word, a warm
smile or a friendly gesture. And at the same time, you
eliminate any relationships that are hurtful or fail to
uplift and edify you. You stop working so hard at
smoothing things over and setting your needs aside.
You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly okay
and that it is your right to want or expect certain things.
And you learn the importance of communicating your
needs with confidence and grace. You learn that the
only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and
that eventually martyrs are burned at the stake. Then
you learn to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility
and the importance of setting boundaries and learning
to say NO. You learn that you don't know all the
answers, it's not your job to save the world and that
sometimes you just need to Let Go.
Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are
and not as you want them to be and your are careful not
to project your neediness or insecurities onto a
relationship. You learn that you will not be, more
beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important
because of the man on your arm or the child that bears
your name. You learn that just as people grow and
change, so it is with love and relationships and that
not everyone can always love you the way you would
want them to. And you stop appraising your worth
by the measure of love you are given. And you
suddenly you realize that it's wrong to demand that
someone live their life or sacrifice their dreams just to
serve your needs, ease your insecurities, or meet
"your" standard and expectations. You learn that the
only love worth giving and receiving is the love that is
given freely without conditions or limitations. And you
learn what it means to love. So you stop trying to
control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that
"alone" does not mean "lonely" and you begin to
discover the joy of spending time with "yourself" and
"on yourself"." Then you discover the greatest and most
fulfilling love you will ever know. Self Love. And so, it
comes to pass that through understanding your heart
heals, and now all new things are possible.
Moving along, you begin to avoid Toxic people and
conversations. And you stop wasting time and energy
rehashing your situation with family and friends. You
learn that talk doesn't change things and that
unrequited wishes can only serve to keep you trapped
in the past. So you stop lamenting over what could or
should have been and you make a decision to leave
the past behind. Then you begin to invest your time
and energy to affect positive change. You take a
personal inventory of all strengths and
weaknesses and the areas you need to improve in
order to move ahead, you set your goals and map out
a plan of action to see things through.
You learn that life isn't always fair and you don't always
get what you think you deserve and you stop
personalizing every loss or disappointment. You learn
to accept that sometimes bad things happen to good
people and that these things are not an acts of God...
but merely a random act of fate.
And you stop looking for guarantees because you've
learned that the only thing you can really count on is the
unexpected and that whatever happens, you'll learn to
deal with it. And you learn that the only thing you must
truly fear is the great robber baron of all time FEAR
itself. So you learn to step right into and through your
fears because to give into fear is to give away the right
to live life on your terms. You learn that much of life truly
is self-fulfilling prophesy and you learn to go after
what you want and not to squander you life living
under a cloud of indecision or feelings of impending doom.
Then, YOU LEARN ABOUT MONEY... the personal
power and independence it brings and the options it
creates. And you recognize the necessity to create
your own personal wealth.. Slowly, you begin to take
responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make
yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to
never ever settle for less than your heart's desire.
And a sense of power is born of self-reliance. And you live
with honor and integrity because you know that these
principles are not the outdated ideals of a by-gone era
but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon
which you must build your life. And you make a point
to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to
every wonderful opportunity and exciting possibility.
Than you hang a wind chime outside your window to
remind yourself what beauty there is in simplicity.
Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by
your side you take a stand, you FAKE a deep breath
and you begin to design the life you want to live as
best you can.
A word about the Power of Prayer: In some of my
darkest, most painful and frightening hours, I have
prayed not for the answers to my prayers or for
material things but for my "God" to help me find the
strength, confidence and courage to persevere; to
face each day and to do what I must do.
Remember this: "You are an expression of the
almighty. The spirit of God resides within you and
moves through you. Open your heart, speak to that
spirit and it will heal and empower you."
My "God" has never failed me.
~ Sonny Carroll (1999)
(1) excerpt from the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi
WISHING EVERYONE
A BLESSED WEEK!
