a Paul Bates sunrise
I sat beside my mother's bed as she slept, watching the man sitting in his
wheelchair out in the hallway. His head was slumped over, as he was sleeping
as well. I couldn't help but wonder about him. He looked like a nice person.
What had his life's work been? Did he have a family... what happy memories
mingled in his thoughts? I hoped there were many. Nurses and aides passed
by him without a glance. How I prayed he had family who came to visit him.
Many times I would walk down the hall to stretch my legs and see bedridden
patients lying in their bed for hours in the same position. Had they been
changed... talked to.... touched... comforted? I know I had often changed Mama
myself when no one would come in. My sister and brother-in-law one would
always be there at lunch to help her eat when I was not visiting. They have done
this everyday for months with so much love. What did these other people do?
Were they just forgotten? Did they only have love in their memories?
Nursing Homes, I am sure are understaffed as are many hospitals, but
I know first hand from nursing how big of a difference a nurse who cares
makes even when she is over worked and can not do everything she wants
to get done. It is not like there is a lot of money to be made working in a
Nursing Home so it seems like to me if you get a job there it should be
because you care and want to help. A touch or some kind words are just as
important as the changing and feeding... We all need these things.
I am so thankful Mama is home now... surrounded by familiar things. She
has people who love her and care for her. She came home on Hospice this
week. Her baby, Sassy (her little poodle) lays right by her side...
you should see the smile this makes. I took a Family Medical Leave to
come help care for her here in Florida. I am so happy to be with her.
In the time she sleeps, I have a lot of time for thinking. The wonderful
people in my life (and who have been in my life) have come to mind every
day. Many of those thoughts are of my friends on line. Those I have meant
in person and those I would love to meet.
This is a big reminder what life is all about. It is all about love
(those we love and who love us) and caring (caring about others
and them caring about us).
Love is what God blessed us with...
We need to reach out, embrace and share this love....
We all seem to face our own fragility when we experience (truly experience) others' aging and deterioration and aloneness. Their fragility is our fragility, and a simple smile and hello - or listening to their memories - can be so healing. Beautifully written, Linda. (Hugs)
ReplyDeleteNice photo of "last light" over the ocean. I think I know where it is... :))
It is a blessing to read a blog from you again, Linda.
ReplyDeleteNice to hear from you. The key thing is to let people know we love them.
ReplyDeletePeter, thank you so much... it is true, we do and you are so right about a simple smile and a hello....
ReplyDeleteI ran to Wal-Mart day before yesterday to get some supplies Mama needed and when I came out, put things in the car, and
headed toward the place to put the buggies... there was an elderly man sitting in the car with his little dog... he smiled and
waved so I looked behind me to see who he was waving to.... lol... there was no one... it was me. Of course, I smiled and
said hi... told him "I see you have your baby with you." Couldn't get the buggy in the holder without straightening the
the four or five other buggies that were hap-hazard in the bin. He smiled again and said, "You did very good" to which I
laughed and said, "I should apply for a job here".... I wished him a Happy Thanksgiving and went back to my car... I found as I started it up and drove off that I had a smile from ear to ear on my face....all because he had been so nice,
Amalie, you don't know what it means to see you here... you are one of those people I keep talking about missing so much.
I hope all is well in your beautiful world!
You are so right, Neil..... we do need to let them know... I want you to know.. you have always made me smile and I think I've
told you before how much I always enjoyed your writing... Thank you so much for coming over!
You've made me tear up as I read this... knowing the love you have to share, and the love I feel from you, though we've never met, makes me feel as close to you as if I'd known you all my life... You're a beautiful soul... and I am blessed to have you grace my life with your light...
ReplyDeleteI only hope one day to have someone as caring and compassionate as you to change my diapers when I'm old and gray...
Thank you... and Duckie Hugs!!!
I have sat here and read this three times now...before commenting...and each time I am touched a bit more. Touched...by such simple kindness. If we all took the time...even just a small amount of time out of our busy days...to show just a little simple kindness....
ReplyDeleteLinda, it is so good to hear from you. I didn't know what was going on with you, but I fully understand. I am still the primary caregiver of my parents. It's been a difficult last few years and emotionally, it gets harder for me. Enjoy your time remember to take care of you. Love you!
ReplyDelete0h.... I can't imagine anything better than Duckie Hugs!!!! I'm glad you feel the love... cuz you have to know you are right up there at the top of my favorite people list.... I am so happy you are in a place you are fascinated by and with good company... just have a wonderful time and share it through your pictures and blogs... maybe it will get this old woman back on Multiply!
ReplyDeleteLisa, the little time I have spent on your page or commenting with you, there is no doubt in my mind you are just the sort of person who shows the kindness you speak of. Thank you so much for coming here... big hug to you and yours.. hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteJacquie, there have been many times I have wondered how you are doing.... we need to talk some day soon. I am happy to hear from you too!
ReplyDeleteYou are so right...memories of when grandma was in nursing home..sigh.
ReplyDeleteNow there is another one of those smiles from ear to ear on my face... when you visit, Cathy... it is always like a wonderful hug!
ReplyDeleteIm so glad you are getting that opportunity linda...the love that you feel for her and for others dear is felt for you by others..those being your friends of whom i am honored to be one..prayers and thoughts with and for you dear lady
ReplyDeleteI am so honored you are one, Gator... and I know I am blessed... have felt the love all my life.... in good times and in bad.
ReplyDeleteYour thoughts and prayers are treasured..... much love and many hugs!
Hey Linda!! I'm glad you can take the time off. I wish I could come and visit with you!! I miss you so!! Time with family is so important! I miss my family so very much, but make up for it with friends. Love and hugs!!! Prayers for you and your family to be watched over!!!
ReplyDeleteMonica... you have the best family of friends... I know you are loved and appreciated.... I hope you know I am one of those who admire you. Thank you so much for the prayers... and hugs... well, I can't imagine what life would be like without them!!!
ReplyDeleteI try to show that kindness to others everyday and your right it does bring a smile to your face. One day we will get to meet other than on the phone. I am sure it brings peace to your mom that you are there.
ReplyDeletelinda, this was is truly beautiful. and you are blessed to be able to send your mother off surrounded by peace and love.
ReplyDeletelove and hugs and prayers to you
I know we will too, Rita and I look forward to it... this afternoon has been like seeing family members that I haven't seen in awhile and getting all kinds of wonderful hugs!
ReplyDeleteKK, no visiting would be complete without you... I have a hug with your name on it... lets pray one day I get to deliver it.
ReplyDeleteHope you and your family had a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Have decorated my page for the upcoming season...only thing missing is your smile..sendin huggers and giggles.
ReplyDeleteLinda, so lovely to see you here! What a truly beautiful post you shared here. Your love for your Mama and for absolutely
ReplyDeleteeveryone shines through so clearly!
Many hugs and Blessings to you!
Thank you so much, Mia for visiting... I have seen some post from you that I would like to go back and read though now that I have the time..
ReplyDeleteYour hugs and blessings are so welcome... Many blessings to you and yours!
Linda it's wonderful to see you here. I love this post. Amazing as always and the photo is just fabulous. I'm so glad your Mom is home too. Hugs Linda.
ReplyDeletewhat a wonderful post sis......you are on caveman's list the top of the list of heart filled with love..i mean that ; )
ReplyDeleteIts so nice to hear from you with the good news of your Mom being back home. Lucky you. Enjoy your days with the beloved MOM.
ReplyDeleteLinda!!! Well stated. You should print this off and send it to the nursing home. Sometimes they need to be reminded of what they are supposed to be doing. It's eriee how similar nursing homes are to the senior dogs we take in. They get old, and people can't be bothered with them anymore. I wish more people had the devotion to their older family members that you do. My grandmother lived with me until the day she died. I swore to her that I would never let her go to a nursing home. My husband an I both took care of her here at home when she couldn't take care of herself anymore. I'm sure your mother is so happy to be with you in her own home with her beloved poodle by her side.
ReplyDeleteRonnie, the best thing you could have done... that hug! Thank you for visiting... I need to check out how things are with you... I know you have been busy... (Big Hug)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Caveman... don't think there is any doubt in your mind how I feel about you! Right up at the top of my most favorite list! Never too many hugs so here's one more... (BIG HUG)
Fatos.. thank you so much.... I miss you and am so glad to hear from you! You are right I am lucky to be with my Mom! Bless you and your family!
Star, I love your attitude about the elderly... my son and his wife feel the same way... they think the grandparents are so important in a child's life. I think the elderly make the family... they are so important. Already know about your heart so I am not surprised the love you and your husband showed and had for your Grandmother. How sad about your senior dogs but I know they get love from you! What wonderful work you do, I admire it so much!
Anyone who has ever been a patient, a friend, a family member or a passerby in the store has felt the grace of your light in your smile. I remember feeling it clearly the first day I caught a glimpse of you on yahoo 360. I know how much you have given up to do what you're doing now and you've never complained about giving it up either...you never debated it....there was no question of should you, you just did what your heart led you to do as you always have. The risk of pain and loss connected with loving and showing that love isn't always easy but still you always choose love. I'm glad you were able to write about it as a reminder to all who might read your words for us also to always choose to show love.
ReplyDeleteAs our Frannie would say, "Oh, My Cherie" I don't have even have words to tell you what strength and love you have put in my life. As I look at so many of our "memory" pictures, I re- live our days in the sun.... lol... one of those it was raining, but it sure shines to me. The drives we took.. going with you out to give your friends food.... How blessed I am to have you in my life!
ReplyDeleteI wish you lots of strength in looking after your Mom Linda. I know it is a loving thing to do and you are easily rewarded by knowing and seeing she is happy with familiar faces around her and her doggie next to her, but it is also hard to take care and see someones abilities diminish.
ReplyDeleteIt is so bighearted of you not only to think of your Mom, but also about the other old souls who don't have a family of their own or a not-caring family for that matter. I don't want to know how often that is... I sometimes hear my Mom telling about other old people who never see their children any more, because of a falling out. It is so beyond me, especially when they get old, how you can just discard of (one of) your parents.
I will keep you and your Mom in my thoughts and am sending you my warm love.
Gerda
Gerda, your comment was like a great big hug... If we are in your thoughts... we are in a good place.
ReplyDeleteI think of you often... and I have to send warm love back to you... thank you so much!
Thanks Linda, I feel the love has arrived here! And I am very happy we are still in touch. :-))
ReplyDeleteOh, me too Gerda.. I think of you often and pray you are well!
ReplyDeleteLinda, you have my thoughts, hugs and prayers there with you. Don't forget to take care of YOU! :) ))hugss((
ReplyDeleteAs always, thinking of you with warmth and love. My prayers continue to be with you. You always light the path for the rest of us with your beautiful vision and heart based truth. All I can ever say to you is thank you...thank you...thank you. You are the manifest of my lessons learned. Be blessed!
ReplyDeletewow! a new look for you! Lovely in everyway. thinking of you Linda!
ReplyDeleteLinda, I hope the season and the reason for the season is bringing you some peace. You are on my mind and in my heart. I send you Christmas blessings and thoughts for an empowering new year. I mostly wish you a warm and tender embrace from Heaven...from one who would love to be in the present to do so. God bless, sweet sister. You are on many minds and in many hearts.
ReplyDelete